Posted 2 years, 2 months ago
(A very tired looking PhD student enters and very quickly slams the door behind them. Loud roars can be heard from outside. They turn to face you.)
Finnbar, out of breath: Welcome back to the 🗳 Very Serious (Not Serious) Mascot Elections 🗳 for 2022! These elections are your chance to vote for arguably the most important exec position of the society... ✨ the mascot ✨.
(The roars outside get louder. The door sounds like it’s having a bad day.)
Finnbar, this time with more concern in their voice: Uhhhh heck okay quick here is a quote from our Constitution about the mascot elections:
5.2.2: Annual General Meetings also include the election of the Society Mascot. This Mascot has no power (so does not have to be officially listed as an exec member) and does not have to be a member of the society, nor a person. Mascot proposals can be made and voted on by members and non-members alike.
So to reiterate, the mascot can be anything - it should probably be related to the Society in some way, and it must absolutely follow the Code of Conduct. You can find previous mascot ideas in these forum threads.
Like last year, we’re letting people submit mascotifestos (mascot manifestos) to truly show the membership…
(The bangs get even louder. Claw marks appear in the door.)
Finnbar, who is bear-ly hanging on: ...the meaning of fear… wait I mean why your mascot is so great no I’m doing fine thanks for asking.
Anyway, your mascot ideas will fight to the death in a sports bracket run throughout the AGM to slowly reduce the pool of mascots from many to just one eventual winner!
(The door collapses.)
Bear: RAWR
Finnbar: Speaking of death, gotta run!
(Exit, pursued by a bear.)
tl;dr: have a great idea for a mascot, post a manifesto for it below (please don’t spam), it’ll fight to the death during the AGM!
i'm free
Posted 2 years, 2 months ago
There is one institution above all in the society that has withstood the test of time.
One that has endured through the years, through the pandemic, through the twists and turns of reality.
One that I might even argue is the bedrock of the society, the glue that holds our disparate factions together, the single central system through which we coordinate our heroic quest to achieve 200 marmalade oranges and ascend to heaven.
I am talking, of course, about the Newsletter.
The newsletter has many abilities that will foretell a new age of prosperity if it is elected, such as:
Lore! - the newsletter quest!
Capitalism! - being sponsored by Zatu!
A risk of wild bears! - if you wanted your mascot post to be the first one to mention this you should've got on that Finnbar.
Frogs!!!! - Ares' exceptional newsletter signoffs, all of which fill me with a perpetual state of joy.
Aprilomancy! - the newsletter reveals secrets from alternate timelines every April!
I should get back to writing the newsletter rather than its manifesto, but the glory of the newsletter is evident to all who read it, being able to withstand even the terrible corruptive influence of Facebook to spread the words of the society to all who need to hear them, also I might make more mascots later in the term so watch this thread.
Here, queer, filled with existential fear.
Posted 2 years, 2 months ago
What a mascot truly needs is chutzpah. While the above may have creativity, cool, confidence, clever and charm, none of them quite have the personality- nay, the guile- nay, the raw, overflowing power, of the mascot that I wish to submit. If you haven't guessed it by now, I am truly shocked and appalled. But, I'm sure, to many of you, the image I'm about to show you is no suprise. I'd definitely have submitted them even if they hadn't threatened me to do so. I am, of course, speaking of:
THE ANTI SELF DEPRECATION HAMMER(s)!
These fu- I mean, these wonderful, superb tools of the gods have many incredibly broad uses:
Did your friend just use the phrase "I maybe dumb, but I'm not stupid?
BOP!
Did you try complementing someone on the society discord server in a non-specific way and they totally deflected it in a comedic manner?
BOP!
Is your housemate getting anxious about how she is as a CCGs rep, worrying about how she's not quite as personable as other people and how she feels like she's not doing a good job at being a friendly and welcoming face of the society when she clearly is?
BOP!
These are just a few, hypothetical examples of what you can do with the power of the anti self deprecation hammers. They are strong and threatening enough to let your vic- I mean, your dear friend let you know that your view of them is unwavering, and yet flexible enough so that your vic- I mean, dear friend will be cheered up by the soft presence of the hammer, rather than being harmed by them. They also make a pleasant noise when used at speed. Thrilling!
We know that many souls will fall in this arena of mascots. So don't let these poor, very sturdy, borderline weapons be one of them! It'd be oh, so much of a shame if they were to defeated!
-Scarlett, (Reluctant) Scion of the Twin Hammers
Posted 2 years, 1 month ago
I would like to put forward The Concept of Finnbar's 'How to website really good', on the grounds that it is an earth-shattering work of epic proportions, featuring:
For this reason I would like to classify the text Tabletop Scripture, which can be done regardless of whether it wins Mascot (but it would be very funny and cool if it did, wink).
When a document is classified as Scripture its words are propogated by divine right. This means that they are believed either to possess and convey spiritual and magical powers or to be the means through which a divine being or other sacred reality is revealed in phrases and sentences full of power and truth.
Since the document speaks only the truth, and does so eloquently with magical prowess, I believe it is suited for the role.
If it gets voted as Mascot, I will translate the entire work into Ancient Akkadian (it may take a while).
By the grace of the almighty Web Admin and former President, Finnbar, and dedicated to their great and lengthy service to the Society.
- Oli
Posted 2 years, 1 month ago
(Our mascoting host enters the room, out of breath. They quietly and forcefully close the door.)
Finnbar: Okay look I've got maybe two minutes before the bear finds me again so I can quickly do this, I'm nominating The Bear That Keeps Chasing Me Through My Old Newsletters and Announcements.
An artist's impression of the bear (I'm the artist) (I'm also being chased by the bear)
Finnbar: You might be thinking "why would I want that bear to be the mascot, Finnbar is the only one who talks about it except for Hannah in their newsletter mascot post and why would I want to vote for the thing that's threatening to murder them anyway", or alternatively "FUCK YEAH MURDER". Well, here are some reasons to consider this bear as our newest mascot.
First, the bear has been around for much longer than you might expect! The bear was present at the end of my newsletter career, but also in a Presidential announce, and even in a merchandise update. So something something respect your elders idk you could also say okay boomer here and that'd be fair enough.
Bears are also present in other aspects of the society - they are commonly found in RPGs, board games such as Bärenpark, Magic: The Gathering has bears in it, and I swear I saw a bear in Warhammer once. I'm bearly scratching the surface of the contributions of bears to the society! Oh I should probably mention the legendary bear link as well.
Okay now bear with me on this one, but bears are excellent for puns. Try to find me a beartter animal to make you bear your teeth at how much wordplay I can fit into (be)a(r)ny sentence. Just be(w)are that some of them will definitely be a stretch, and it bears mentioning that you might lose friends over it, or at least be subject to violence as a result. Opinions of these puns are likely polarising, but hopefully at least you've taken a pawse (thanks Fern) for thought about the punability of bears and maybe you'll even think of some wursine (thanks again Fern) puns.
(A loud roar is heard.)
Finnbar, now speaking more quickly: Hopefully this has persuaded you to vote for this bear. That being said, this is all part of a larger plan. You see, if I were to fight the bear head on, I would lose. However, there is something stronger than me that I can employ. To quote the first post in this thread, emphasis mine:
Anyway, your mascot ideas will fight to the death in a sports bracket run throughout the AGM to slowly reduce the pool of mascots from many to just one eventual winner!
So, if the bear loses, then hooray, no more bear chasing me! And if the bear wins, my joke becomes a part of society history and it will probably be too busy doing all of the duties required of a mascot to chase me! It might even stop chasing me if it realises that I helped it earn its place in the society, and having my silly joke would be a pretty cool end to a four-year exec term. (Although that being said, I think I've made funnier jokes.)
Time for the mandatory sappy bit. It's been a good run being involved in the running of this here soc, and a big part of that has been the creative outlet of things like the newsletter, announcements and running big events. This bear seems to be the slightly weird representation of that creative outlet. (Along with Fast & Finnbar posters? Okay yeah I don't get it either, but I guess that means that if the bear dies my creativity doesn't just die there and then? Is that how it works?) But also to be honest I expect the final to be Brant vs Goots and I'm just putting this here so that I can make another bear joke.
Basically vote for this mascot or a beartter one.
(Bear enters, stage left.)
Finnbar: shit
i'm free
Posted 2 years, 1 month ago
Good day to you, good people, I am here to display;
The finest mascot candidate that you will see this day.
So roll up, roll up, come and see! You haven’t very long;
Unfortunately, I rather doubt that they’ll survive this song.
With shirt of red, and heart of gold, it simply must be said;
That they're the bravest one aboard, although they'll soon be dead.
But is that all? I hear you cry, for nay it is not;
There's more to this figure than a mere hapless clot.
For with wit and guile, do they share, a skill of utmost grace;
(Although some audiences may cry loudly "Shut your face!")
For whether charging off to battle, or dashing into space;
They're a Rhyming Redshirt, see? So, to honour in this place...
I declare intention! A horse into this race!
(Although, statistically, unlikely to First Place).
For alas, alack, I daresay chance would rarely favour;
So bold a minion in the crowd, although there's no-one braver.
Let that not a-sorrow, though, but treasure time with a grin;
The ship has not exploded yet, and the captain beckons in.
So pray, show hands and welcome! The latest star-to-be;
(And truly blessed, it must be said, with wondrous vocabulary);
This daring chaff; this unnamed sap; this hero born from dirt;
This certainly soon-be-damned, but triumphant, Rhyming Redshirt!
Posted 2 years, 1 month ago
hello!!!
I would like to propose strawberry jam for mascot!!
hes got so many skills!! such as:
- huggable
- can be used as a bludgeon
- can and will steal bones
- stands up for everyone using his classic death stare!
what more could you want!!
strawberry jam my our beloved <3
finnbar edit: on request, here is an image of him:
Posted 2 years, 1 month ago
I come bearing a mascot....
back for round two, it's :benji_sit:
TABLEBOT!
Tablebot is the Discord bot created by Finnbar, and mercilessly improved by them, Anna, Amelie (who edited the logo below on top of Ares' Gender Cube logo), and myself, boasting an increasingly wide array of features and 100% less snark than UB3R bot.
Bonuses to voting for Tablebot include:
In conclusion, VOTE TABLEBOT FOR TABLETOP MASCOT 2022
Posted 2 years, 1 month ago
Friends! Enemies! Others! Prepare to have your minds blown as I propose to you a completely novel concept that the society has never experienced before. Quake before the uncomprehendable and let your eyes/ears/other reading receptacles squirm under the new knowledge that this paragraph provides.
I propose that our newest Mascot to rule over every waking (and unwaking!) moment of tabletop activities is...
ALL CENTAURS.
Now you may be confused. Actually, no, you are definitely confused. Weren't All Horses proposed as a mascot last year? Whilst that is true, it would be wholeheartedly inappropriate to allow All Horses to attempt the mascot bracket this year as horses cannot die. Centaurs, on the other hand, cannot even be classed as living, so their deaths would likely not slow them down. It would be interesting to see what happened though if you tried to kill them. I'll be sure to watch as you do it, probably after they lose to Brant or something. From afar of course. From afar.
What benefits befall you if you vote for All Centaurs? Or, you could say, behoove you, because centaurs have hooves. Haha. Haha. Ha.
...
So after all those many positives, what could be the downsides to All Centaurs reigning over the society? As we all know, mainly thanks to Dr Dr Fern's wonderful contributions to the prestigious pursuit of Centaurology, centaurs cannot be stopped. Their will must be exercised over the society at once. There will be no need for society members when All Centaurs occupy the discord, the corridors of FAB and B2.02. The exec will adopt dull, monotone speech, speaking only of the greatness of the Almighty One and adorning horsehair belts and hoof-like shoes. New members may find themselves conscripted in the war against the Sexy Vampires, armed with LARP safe wooden stakes and chain mail with way too many arm holes. Cent-Lore will become required reading for all applicants to the university. Life as we know it will change forever. Which, to be honest, given the situation we've had for the last two years, a Centuarpocalypse doesn't sound all that bad. It would be a nice change of pace.
Arguably the worst outcome is what happens if All Centaurs fail to be voted in as mascot. I have doomed us all by even suggesting their candidacy. It's hard to say which of their horrible fates they will choose to befall us if they lose, but it's likely too terrible to detail. Get it? Because centaurs have tails??? Okay I'll stop.
So, vote for All Centaurs to have complete dominion over all of tabletop, neigh, Warwick university, neigh, THE WORLD. Because if you don't, then... then... well probably the same thing will happen as if they win to be completely frank. Sorry about dooming us all, but at least we might get some cool Cent-Lore out of it.
Oh, and here's a picture of :benji_sit: on a centaur for good measure.
Soft of heart, dumb of a** and fluid of gender.
Posted 2 years ago
P.S. (Pre Script): If you're a PhD student and you're seeing this mascot manifesto as it goes live that's a sign you should go to bed and read this later. If you disobeyed this clear instruction and did read it then you may also note that it has been edited since then (as of 01:14, there's no hypocrisy in this motion honest I don't have to get up till late on Tuesday).
Here, queer, filled with existential fear.
Posted 2 years ago
Hello. I'm here to speak to you about something that's very important to all of us
While well-armed arachnids are of course familiar to all of those who #ComeToLARP, I've done a little digging and discovered some evidence to indicate that artillerist Aranae are present in every facet of the society.
Reasons why you should support our new arthropodal pistolier overloards:
Furthermore, I consider that Carthage must be destroyed
Posted 2 years ago
Brant. A brilliant boi.
This humble goose of genus Brantus was introduced to the society by a little-known game called Wingspan, in which players decreed "lol this bird is called brant". Surrounded by contemporaries such as the American Woodcock and Bushtit, Brant was a victory for the simple birds - no overcomplicated names, just simple but effective branter from a brilliant bird.
They are a staple of the Wingspan world, bringing joy to all that see them. Whether you pioneered the wet bird strategy or believed in the importance of drying out your birds, you were still unified in the fact that Brant was just a respectable being every time Wingspan was played. They are a true leader, a visionary, a Brant in every sense of the word.
And yet, the only reason we managed to discover them was sheer random, sorry, brantom chance. Nobody searched for Brant - they found us. Brant may help us draw cards, but really, they help us find opportunities.
So in short, why should you vote for Brant as society mascot? Because they represent some of the best parts of the society - finding opportunities in life, having fun in games and most importantly, laughing at birds with silly names.
Thank you.
Original Wingspan art sourced from the Board Games Subreddit, art of the Yu-Gi-Oh card from Brant's Wikipedia page.
i'm free